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Thursday, May 24, 2012

Best Friends Forever...by J.D. Faver

Maintaining friendships, in the transient world in which we live is not always easy. If you happen to live in the same town in which you grew up, you probably have retained most of your friends from grade school, unless they, with a more adventurous spirit have moved far away.
Some people are not able to finish school in the same area they started. Parents changing jobs, divorce rending families apart and military families are just a few causes of frequent changes of location. If one does graduate with the same group you started kindergarten with, it’s a rare thing. Another hurdle to friendship lies ahead when some of your classmates go off to different colleges or find work in other locations. Sometimes, the intention is to get the degree and return, but often times, this is not the way it actually shakes out.
When some of the classmates meet that special someone and make a commitment to marry, this often takes them to another location. Starting a brand new life together, but often there are friends left behind who will not be entirely forgotten, but nonetheless neglected as the friendship takes a backseat to new events in one’s busy life.
In my own life, I have been blessed with so many wonderful friendships. And I have been totally naïve as to the longevity of these friendships.
Meeting someone with whom you can develop a closeness, is a wonderful thing. Finding someone with similar values and interests helps us to align ourselves with that person. The more time we spend cultivating that friendship, the more valuable it becomes. Our mutual love of orchids, or photography might be enough for us to decide there would be other things we might share. A movie? A cup of coffee?
How about friendships developed through institutions such as church? The PTA? Your archery club or Zumba class? Yes, those are good too.
Whatever the source of your friendship, it’s a good thing to take stock every once in a while and make sure you’re caring for your friendships at least as well as you’re taking care of the rose bushes that line the driveway.
Investing in friendships is mostly about time. Taking time to make a phone call or jot a note…although now, it’s more like sending an email, texting or IMing your friend. Face time is a rare commodity, but one well worth the investment. Having coffee at a Starbucks with a friend? How about lunch or dinner? Taking a walk with a neighbor?
It’s so easy to slide through your day without touching anyone. Wake up. Go to work, come home. Flick on the tube and lose yourself in the media. Go to bed. Rinse. Repeat…
Have a virtual life…
One of my friends from college is going to be in Texas for a visit…and I’m going to do my best to hook up with her. We were room-mates one summer and I enjoyed her friendship so much. Jane and I had many characteristics in common and in other ways we were totally different. What I loved about her most were her sweet disposition and great sense of humor. She always had her sunny side up. I loved her creative and artistic abilities. Although she left Texas to finish her degree in Valparaiso, Indiana, we kept up our friendship through the good old US Postal system. We got married and had babies…suffered tragedies and accomplished goals…but deep inside, we are the same people we were then…Just a little battle-scarred on the outside. I connected with her on FaceBook these many years later and it was like finding treasure. I hope you have enduring friendships that stand the test of time and that you’re investing your time and yourself in these priceless relationships 
Have a real life...
*hugs*
~JD

J.D. Faver is an author of romantic suspense and contemporary romance living in Texas with small, yappy dog and two elderly cats. Blessed with family and friends, she writes what the voices in her head scream at her...no, wait! That's the dog. :-)

10 comments:

  1. Oh so true! I just spoke with a person I was friends with in 8th grade. She's putting together a 40th anniversary party and has been hunting me for the past three years. Here's an odd thing...I was always such a shy kid, fairly new the the school too. I didn't have many friends there. She tells me everyone asks about me "did you find her yet??" Surreal.

    ~Rose

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    1. How lovely! I'm so glad you've been 'found'. I'm trying to be a better friend to my friends and plan face time with them. So many are writers so at least I get to see them at RWA meetings and conferences, but I try to plan meet ups in between. I think it finally dawned on me that these friendships are worth the time and energy.
      *hugs*
      ~JD

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  2. I don't keep in touch with anyone from high school or college other than a Christmas card. I'm always amazed at women who are still close with girls they went to grammer school with. Of course, I moved away from my home town. I feel like the older you get, maybe it's just me, it's harder to make friends. At least in person. I have e-mail friends but have never met them in person. I hope to. ;-)

    I hope you can meet up with your old friend and have a wonderful time with her.

    Jane

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    1. I hope you get to meet your virtual friends too...Especially me :-)
      I may have to drive across Texas to meet up with Jane, but I hope to make this happen.
      *hugs*
      ~JD

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    2. Yes, friends are one of the most valuable relatioships we have. Besides family friends, the longest friendship I have is forty-seven years.
      Judy and I were young, inquisitive, full of life and energy. We worked together, dated together, laughed, cried, shared good and bad times through marriages, births, and deaths. We don't see each other often, but keep in touch. Judy is a cherished friend who holds a special place in my heart.
      When you say you may have to drive across Texas... the song Waltz Across Texas comes to mind. Yes, a friend is someone always by your side. Good or bad.

      Carol DeVaney

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    3. That's wonderful, Carol. Obviously you know how to be a real friend. So glad you're one of mine.
      *hugs*
      ~JD

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  3. And your best friends help you hide the bodies.
    *hugs*
    ~JD

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  4. Friends are one of the best treasures life has to offer.

    I've known my best friend for over 15 years. We started out as pen pals and although we don't see each other often enough, we do email and call one another weekly.

    She's also been my most faithful fan when it come to writing. :)

    Fabulous post!

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  5. Thanks Mary. Friends who live in our heart, sustain us through bad times and rejoice with us through the good times.
    Glad you are so rich in friendships.
    *hugs*
    ~JD

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  6. That is so wonderful, Mary. Having a few close friends is the best. My best friends are so dear to me.
    *hugs*
    ~JD

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