I have been going steady with you since first we met. However, lately I'm not feeling the love. Yes, I'm breaking up with you.
From the moment I first saw you on the shelves, I was attracted to you. You were so good-looking in your sleek containers and rich green color. I couldn't wait to take you home. From the very start, I fell totally in love with you.
Yeah, you have always been a bit difficult to get to know. That snug little cap that some young product designer thought would set you off has proven to be a detriment to our relationship. There are times when you just won't open up to me. I've begged you... "C'mon, baby...Spill it..." But to no avail. The only way for me to get to you was to pry you against the ceramic shelf built into my shower.
I have begged you and cursed you and broken my nails trying to get to your inner core, but you don't seem to care.
When I do manage to get you to open up, I fall in love with you all over again. Your product makes my hair clean and silky and it smells great, but lately I've been asking myself, is it worth all this trouble and sacrifice on my part when you obviously don't care about my feelings?
I have to confess that I'm in a new relationship now. I took home another product, a great big handsome bottle of Pantene. True, Pantene is creamy and white as opposed to your gorgeous transparent green, but I'm asking myself, do I really want to put something green in my hair? Pantene is truly supportive and easy to get to know. He's bigger and bulkier than you. Yeah, I can go for that...a product I can get my hands on. And he opens up for me all the time. From what I can tell, this Pantene really gets me.
So, have a nice life, Garnier Nutrisse...See ya around, but I'm sticking with the one that loves me back...
(The opinions expressed above, belong solely to J.D. and may not be shared by her blog-mates...)