Best Friends Forever...by J.D. Faver

Maintaining friendships, in the transient world in which we live is not always easy. If you happen to live in the same town in which you grew up, you probably have retained most of your friends from grade school, unless they, with a more adventurous spirit have moved far away.

Some people are not able to finish school in the same area they started. Parents changing jobs, divorce rending families apart and military families are just a few causes of frequent changes of location. If one does graduate with the same group you started kindergarten with, it’s a rare thing. Another hurdle to friendship lies ahead when some of your classmates go off to different colleges or find work in other locations. Sometimes, the intention is to get the degree and return, but often times, this is not the way it actually shakes out.

When some of the classmates meet that special someone and make a commitment to marry, this often takes them to another location. Starting a brand new life together, but often there are friends left behind who will not be entirely forgotten, but nonetheless neglected as the friendship takes a backseat to new events in one’s busy life.

In my own life, I have been blessed with so many wonderful friendships. And I have been totally naïve as to the longevity of these friendships.

Meeting someone with whom you can develop a closeness, is a wonderful thing. Finding someone with similar values and interests helps us to align ourselves with that person. The more time we spend cultivating that friendship, the more valuable it becomes. Our mutual love of orchids, or photography might be enough for us to decide there would be other things we might share. A movie? A cup of coffee?

How about friendships developed through institutions such as church? The PTA? Your archery club or Zumba class? Yes, those are good too.

Whatever the source of your friendship, it’s a good thing to take stock every once in a while and make sure you’re caring for your friendships at least as well as you’re taking care of the rose bushes that line the driveway.

Investing in friendships is mostly about time. Taking time to make a phone call or jot a note…although now, it’s more like sending an email, texting or IMing your friend. Face time is a rare commodity, but one well worth the investment. Having coffee at a Starbucks with a friend? How about lunch or dinner? Taking a walk with a neighbor?

It’s so easy to slide through your day without touching anyone. Wake up. Go to work, come home. Flick on the tube and lose yourself in the media. Go to bed. Rinse. Repeat…

Have a virtual life…

One of my friends from college is going to be in Texas for a visit…and I’m going to do my best to hook up with her. We were room-mates one summer and I enjoyed her friendship so much. Jane and I had many characteristics in common and in other ways we were totally different. What I loved about her most were her sweet disposition and great sense of humor. She always had her sunny side up. I loved her creative and artistic abilities. Although she left Texas to finish her degree in Valparaiso, Indiana, we kept up our friendship through the good old US Postal system. We got married and had babies…suffered tragedies and accomplished goals…but deep inside, we are the same people we were then…Just a little battle-scarred on the outside. I connected with her on FaceBook these many years later and it was like finding treasure. I hope you have enduring friendships that stand the test of time and that you’re investing your time and yourself in these priceless relationships 

Have a real life...

*hugs*

~JD

J.D. Faver is an author of romantic suspense and contemporary romance living in Texas with small, yappy dog and two elderly cats. Blessed with family and friends, she writes what the voices in her head scream at her...no, wait! That's the dog. :-)

Got a favorite?

I hate to admit it, but it’s true – I have an addiction. Tea is my drink. Black, green or white. Hot or cold. Regular or decaf. With milk or not.

There have been ceremonies and rituals dedicated to drinking tea, with the Japanese and British occurrences being the most widely known.

In both ceremonies, it’s not so much the drinking of the tea as the preparation of it. The Japanese tea ceremony is over 1000 years old has very precise steps, and can take 10 years to learn them.

No matter how formal the British tea appears, it is much less so than the Japanese. It is also a relative newcomer compared to the Chinese and Japanese, not having established trade routes (and a steady supply) until the late 1670s. While we tend to use high tea and afternoon tea interchangeably, they are quite different. High tea is basically a meal, with meat, cheese, bread, and of course tea, served at a ‘high’ table such as a dining table.  Afternoon tea, started in the early-mid 1800s, has the sweets and savories many of us associate with a tea. The Afternoon Tea was created to foster friendships: the hostess would invite her closest friends for tea and a visit.

This is perhaps why I identify with the British tea so much. I can drink gallons of tea myself; have no trouble doing so. But it is so much nicer to share with a friend. I particularly have two tea friends whom I meet with at different times. One, we meet at a local Starbuck’s and spend way too much time catching up on our lives. The other is an older friend and we have been at each other’s homes more times than I can count. Tea is always involved no matter what else there is or isn’t. When our kids were little, they used to measure the visits in terms of our tea. If we finished too quickly, one would invariably say, ‘have another cup.”

Tea itself is refreshing. I can’t think of a more welcome drink on a hot summer day than fresh brewed unsweetened iced tea. For the other three seasons of the year, I have to have my hot tea. I even bought a tea kettle specifically for my office at one time. My office mate and I gauged how busy we were by the time we managed to have our first cup of tea.  Tea by 9 was  slow morning, by 10 was average and if the morning tea didn’t come until 1:00, the whole day was pretty our of control.

I like so many teas in so many variations I couldn’t even list them.  But know this: by 10 in the morning, I will lift my cup of tea to you and salute – encouraging you to join me.